No one does this thing called life successfully without some very special people walking alongside and speaking into their lives. I’m lucky to have a long list of people who have taken the time to share their experiences and talents to help make me a better leader.
Near the top of that list is my dad, Jon. As we near Father’s Day and his 60th birthday, I found myself reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned from him.
And so here, I will try to pay tribute to my dad. To a man who’s both simple and complex. To the man who taught me how to work and serve others.
This is for you, Dad.
There are a few things you need to know about my dad to have context for the lessons he has taught me. My dad is a self-made man. He has never worked for anyone else in his life. I really don’t think he has ever – like EVER – received a paycheck from someone other than himself or a company he owns. He is crazy entrepreneurial. He has an incredibly high risk tolerance. He never gets angry. He is fiercely in love with my mom, his wife for over 35 years.
I’m the oldest of four kids, and my dad was not particularly invested in helping us be cool in high school. He was more interested in making sure that we knew how to run a business than how to throw a football or shoot a basket. My brothers used to joke that their girlfriends were scared to come over to our house for fear my dad would start asking them about their 401Ks. Suffice it to say, small talk is not his jam.
But what I realize now, looking back, is that my dad was obsessed with teaching us things that he saw as lasting, helping us learn skills and learn lessons that would make us spectacular adults – even if it resulted in being not-so-cool at 16.
Here’s the lessons I learned about entrepreneurship and life from my dad.
Truth tells its own story
I grew up in a super small town, where everyone knew everyone – and everyone knew everyone’s business. My dad wasn’t always easy to peg down, and there were things he would do that would be misunderstood by others in our small community. The rumor mill would take off. I remember a couple of times being so mad that he didn’t fight back and defend himself. And when I would ask why, he would quietly say “truth tells its own story; just not always on your timeline.” And you know what? It always did. The truth always came out and the real story was always exposed and the real motives were revealed.
Most people give up too early
In the early days of Element Three, it was hard. Like really hard. Like “I really want to quit” hard. And when we were in the heart of the recession and my company was in the middle of what felt like a tornado, my dad would say, “Keep going, keep going. Most people give up too early. It’s only the end if you make it the end. Keep going.” I’m so thankful he didn’t let me quit. I wouldn’t be having these amazing experiences today of seeing Element Three grow, of learning new things and working alongside the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life. It makes my heart stop to think I might have stopped. Thanks Dad, for pushing me beyond my comfort zone and not letting me give up too early.
If everyone thought it was a good idea, the opportunity wouldn’t exist
My dad has had a lot of crazy business ideas. Some have worked, some have not. And most of the businesses he’s in, other people think he is totally insane for putting his time and money there. And when they tell him he’s nuts (or more likely you can just read it in their eyes), he just files it away and says “if everyone thought it was a good idea, the opportunity wouldn’t exist.” And while he’s still crazy, he’s also right. Special market opportunities only exist when they are unidentified by most.
Don’t ever let money define you
My dad has had no money and my dad has had lots of money. And in both scenarios, he is exactly the same man. Now, as an adult, I realize how incredibly difficult it is to keep your identity from becoming closely tied to your financial status. I’m incredibly grateful for his example of consistency. My dad would say, “I’ve had seasons with money and without. I’m fine either way – but it is a little more fun when you have money.” You see, my dad doesn’t need money to know what he’s about and what he stands for. He doesn’t throw his value set out the window when money opens up new opportunities and experiences. He’s the same. And it’s awesome to know we’ll always know where to find him. Money is a tool to my dad – not a measurement for self-worth or social currency. It comes and goes, and he has shown us how to stay centered in the midst of change.
Keep your commitments – even when it’s not convenient
I expect if you asked any of the people in my dad’s life about him, one of the adjectives they would append to him is dependable. He always keeps his word. Always. No matter how inconvenient, no matter the cost, no matter the weather or how he is feeling. He always shows up.
This translated into not letting us wimp out of going to school when we had a little headache. We worked even when it was raining. We went to church even when there was a foot of snow on the ground. We helped others when we didn’t have any money of our own. We drove through the night to make it to a special family graduation. There are a lot of reasons not to show up in life. He didn’t let us find any good ones. Show up. Life is a lot more fun that way.
Cherish your spouse
My dad is crazy about my mom. Always has been. It was just normal to me that they were in love. That they got along. That they were a team. That they were always unified in front of us as kids. As I’ve grown up and seen more of the world, I realize what a rare experience it was to grow up in this environment.
Dad demonstrated to each of us kids that you must make your spouse a priority. That you should celebrate their talents and be a team. It’s truly one of the most important gifts you can give your children – to love your spouse. I hope someday my girls write these same paragraphs about me and my husband. That we showed them how to love. Thanks Dad, for loving Mom.
Take care of your stuff. “Don’t junk it up!”
Few things irritate my dad. But one thing we knew for sure as kids was to take care of our things. Treat them with respect. Stuff is not a right, it is a responsibility. If you get out the rake, put it away – don’t leave it out in the rain. If you have a car, wash it once a week and clean out the garbage every time you get home. Park your car in the garage, turn off the light. Shut the cabinet door. Hang your clothes up after you wear them, put away the clean laundry. Organize your closet so you know where things are. If we would start using a tool wrong or slam the car door too hard, you’d hear Dad grumble “ahhh, don’t junk it up!”
He believed if you took care of your things and knew where they are, they would be there when you needed them. The real lesson here for me has been that if you do the little things well every time, you’re able to avoid big messes. This is true in stuff and in relationships.
Thanks, Dad
Thanks Dad for living well. For showing us how to give, how to love, how to have fun and how to make money. For showing us how to use influence for good, and how to lead and love others. Thanks for loving Christ and for loving me. Thanks, Dad.
Love, Tiffany
[imageCTA title=”Looking for Marketing Help” summary=”We’re experts in everything from creative to digital strategy to branding. We’re ready to get going as soon as you’re ready to get results.” link=”/contact” button=”Let’s Talk” image=”Creative_Brand_CTA.jpg” layout=””]
